You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
