You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
