If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
