I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
