OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
