I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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