Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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