I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
