Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
