i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We talked him into tasing himself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
