Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
false alarm, still single
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