With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
