Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
