He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Even the bartender felt bad for me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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