it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize