the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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