somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
