Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize