That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
