I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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