I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
