best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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