I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
