I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
