Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
