shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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