bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
