first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
