I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
