I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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