If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
