dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
