Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
