I want to make a zoo with you.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
