so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
