Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
