belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
