you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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