I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
