My brain says no but my pants say off.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
