I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The best revenge is premature balding
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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