Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I need moral support for this bender
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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