Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
