"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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