Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
