I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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