He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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