Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
