He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
