The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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