What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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