Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
