So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
