I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
