I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
