is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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