Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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